OK, once and for all (for now) I reject the position that the existential self does not exist, is not real, is not tangible and significant within the confines of birth and death. The existential self is real, if only existentially so, and the constant effort to disintegrate the self by stealing all relative words into a new language of not self, non-dualism, or any other perspective is an annoyance that is, for me, distinctly counterproductive. It is a bit like being hoodwinked while being aware that the smiling culprit is blowing smoke up my ass. You can introduce new terms or phrases, or even specify that you are using words in a special context where they have a peculiar inference, but you cannot subordinate the entire English language to your narrow purpose. Harrumph!
If, instead of these games, I simply imagine myself as a temporal manifestation of the unmanifest beyond, then my mind, at least, can dislodge and move forward. It raises several questions or perspectives that become interesting to me, at least intellectually.
The first question is an old question: if the temporal self is a manifestation, then when it dissolves into the unmanifest, bliss will be constituted in the total absence of self (consciousness, experience, etc.) and if I am not there to enjoy it, then why do I want to quit this bundle of experiences, however tumultuous and inadequate they may be?
If we are all manifest from the same beyond, then we are all one in one beyondness. Looking at it from the perspective of the unmanifest, we are each just temporary manifestations from the one, pervasive I Am. From the viewpoint of individual manifestations, there is duality and multiplicity and we are each unique individuals; but from the perspective of the unmanifest, everything conjured up by consciousness is part of the oneness and not differentiated – there is no duality. This suggests that enlightenment is both coming to know this truth and also fundamentally changing one’s perspective from that of the individual to that of the unmanifest.
This perspective of the unmanifest also suggests that for me to become liberated is a trivial, even inconsequential attainment because the ocean is full of waves and perpetually raises up wave after wave. Since we are all I Am, then I Am can only become liberated when all manifestations both dissolve and stop being reborn. Nisargadatta’s I Am is stuck in a relentless suffering unless every manifest being becomes liberated. Let the last one out of the room of the manifest turn out the light of consciousness. What a hopeless proposition for I, I Am, and all manifest beings! Excuse me, would you all kindly start meditating so I can one day be liberated?
OK, so lets’ state it again differently and see if it gets any better. Nisargadatta’s I Am is at lest an inference to the unmanifest beyond. So, regardless of our multiplicity and duality as existential beings, if we each investigate the source of our selves, we will all discover the same unmanifest reality, the source of all conditioned reality, and, therefore, the selfsame I Am. And in that moment of realization, advaita is proved – that we are all manifest of the same I Am is obvious and the implication is that thereafter, when I consider my existential self from the perspective of the I Am, then I can no longer be substantively differentiated from every other manifest being for all are I Am. Further, no self has any more or less value than another self, and the acts between the manifest selves are the I Am acting on the I Am. I cannot harm another because there is no other for me to harm. I Am all and I Am all I Am.
So what?
Well, first, this knowledge, if it is even true, is of limited value because it is not experiential. Just as the finger points at the moon, and we need teachers and their words and guidance in whatever form or medium, so knowledge, however acquired, helps us on our path. For me, knowledge and understanding help to remove obstacles to progress. Every change in perspective gives me the chance to see another door, another passage. Perhaps this is the cultivation of the Buddha’s Right View. However, I do believe that just as insight opens the mind, it is experience of truth that will drag me across the threshold. It is the unexplainable yet unquestionable experience of the ineffable reality that will bring absolute liberation…
… of the self. Holy shit! I Am can realize myself and disintegrate into I Am but I Am not free of these manifest warts until all of you do the same! We are like a rash on the butt of the unmanifest: we may cure a spot, but meanwhile the rash keeps spreading and getting uglier and we need to treat, to cure, the entire rash. Oh, sigh!
I wonder if a spot of the rash can be cured in such a way that the cure sort of infects more of the rash? The Buddha infected a big chunk of the rash and still the rash is far bigger now and the cure has been almost lost. What am I left? The hopeless path of the Bodhisattva or the insignificant attainment of self realization, of my own, minuscule liberation?
Perhaps when pulling weeds in the strawberry patch, it is best not to cogitate on the entire farm – just keep pulling weeds.
